Dear Internet, you are the best/worst/best again thing to ever happen to me…

Because, when you get right down to it, the internet is the only place/thing/invention to be able to really chronicle the sheer insane ridiculousness of the human race.  I assume that humans have always been as fucked up as they are now, it’s just that, in the age of information, we are WAY more aware of it.

If the theatrical adaptation of a 2-bit action film starring 3-bit actors wasn’t enough to convince you, then please read this.

It’s a report about one group of Klan members protesting (as in actual, go out in the streets and march) another group of Klan members who, themselves, are doing a protest.

I realize I have a penchant for hyperbole, but I swear to GOD, that might be the most awesomest thing I’ve ever read on a news site. 

I’m reminded of the film version of Kurt Vonnegut’s Mother Night and Frankie Faison’s portrayal of Robert Sterling Wilson the “black Fuehrer of Harlem.”

I really think there’s a story here, and I don’t mean the “reported” story.  I mean a flesh and blood piece of fiction.  Someone like Vonnegut could really do wonders with the idea of competing groups of racists protesting each other.  Of course, I realize, a bit wistfully, that I am not the person to take said “facts” and turn them into fiction…

A quick word of thanks.

We’ve seen a steady, modest, increase in our traffic here at Normality Restored.  I like to think that’s, at least in part, due to the fact that we’ve actually been posting stuff regularly for a few weeks.  Although, the amount of comics has dwindled to…um…zero. 

Nevertheless, you stalwart supporters of Normality Restored (I briefly considered calling you “Normies” but then realized how lame that would be) continue check-in and comment.  And I’d like to give an especial thanks to Kerri (particularly for the kind words), Shalyn and anyone else whose left a comment (and no, you don’t count exsulis).  It’s really nice considering there has been a serious lack of web-comic on this web-comic, of late.

But never fear!  We are working on a comic for this week!  Complete with pictures, word bubbles, color, and maybe even a joke or two (but, you know, I wouldn’t hold my breath on that last one).

I may have skewed the results a little…

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in with? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)You are a light and humorous person. No one can help but to smile to your wit. Now if only the improbabilitydrive would stop turning you into weird stuff. Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) 100% Moya (Farscape) 94% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 75% FBI’s X-Files Division (The X-Files) 63% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 63% Serenity (Firefly) 63% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 63% SG-1 (Stargate) 56% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 56% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 56% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 50% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 50% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 44%

And I’ve never seen Farscape, but 100% for the Heart of Gold, come on people, that’s a reason to celebrate!  Of course, I knew that was an option going into the quiz, and my insane fanaticism of all things DNA meant that it was impossible for any other outcome to occur.  Nevertheless, my score makes me very happy, one might even say, much more happy than is healthy.

A few thoughts on the nature of imagination, and how it often falls far short of the absurdity of the real world.

Let’s say I had an idea about a story, or better yet, a film script. 

Now this script was going to be somewhat avantgarde, kind of meta-fictional.  The idea is this, I’m going to write a script about a local theatre company that is producing a live-action version of a bad, 15 year old action film.  Let’s say, hypothetically, that film is Point Break.  Now here’s the the really “meta” part of it.  Every time the play is performed, the company randomly selects an audience member to play the title role of Johnny Utah (the role that Keanu Reeves had in the film).  And to capture the true essence of Reeve’s performance, the audience member will read all of his/her lines off of cue cards.

This idea, while obviously ridiculous, is not totally unworkable.  In a Christopher Guest sort of vein, it might very well work.  But that would be in a clear satirical voice, in a world that is only related to ours, but in way meant to mirror reality.

And I’d say to you…

Well…

THAT’S A REAL FUCKING STORY!!!!!!!!!

Some times, not often, but every once in a while I impress myself with a sentence, or a thought, or an idea that I think is particularly original.  And I’ve spent the better part of a decade writing seriously, but there is no god-damned way in hell I could ever come up with something as clearly shit-ball crazy as that.

It’s times like this that I really question my decision to pursue a career in the creative arts.

The greatest story ever told, care of Tim Powers.

I’m not exactly sure what prompted the following story.  It was a fairly normal workshop, by all accounts, but at one point last night, Powers launched into what, I believe, is possibly the best story I’ve ever heard.  Or, at the very least, the best story about the writing world that I’ve ever heard.  So I’m going to now “go into” the voice of Powers, in an attempt to recreate the story as accurately as possible….

But let it be known that this is not, or in no way should be construed as, an accurate reproduction of the ACTUAL words that Powers’ said.  It’s a dramatic recreation, if you will, for effect…

“So I got my hands on a German version of one of my books.  And I noticed that at one point in the book, the typefaced changed for a couple of pages, then when back to the normal typeface.  I wasn’t sure if it was just a printer error or not.  So some time later I had someone who actually read German take a look at the book. 

So at the point in the book where the hero gets off the phone and says to another character, ‘She’s tied to a railroad track, we only have ten minutes, let’s go,’ and then the jump a car and take off.

But where the typeface changes, this version goes, ‘She’s tied to a railroad track, we only have ten minutes,’ and the other character says, ‘But do we have time for soup?’ ‘Well, what kind of soup?’ ‘Maggi Soup.’ ‘What kinds do we have?’ ‘All 12 delicious flavors.’ and it continued like that for a bit before returning to the story. 

So I checked another one of my German books and the same thing was there.  Then I called William Gibson, who had the same German publisher, and asked him if he had ever seen different typeface in any of his books released in Germany, and the exact same thing had happened in Neuromancer.

Now my point here isn’t that I object to the advertisement being inserted, but that if you want it in there, let me write it.  Plus, it was always inserted at a moment of really high tension, and one character would say, ‘But do we have time for soup?’  Wouldn’t it make more sense to just put it in a place where it looks natural?”

And a few minutes with google shows that it must have been a fairly common practice for this particular publisher.  I’d be interested to know if,

A. It was only done with sci-fi and fantasy writers?

and,

B. If anyone, anywhere, has a catalogue of all the books/editions that this was done in, cause that would be something worth collecting.

 

The verdict of the fetus within!

Well, after a long stint at the doctor’s office, we finally have conclusive proof regarding the gender of the first born forthecoming…

and after much sonigraphic searching through the murky depths of April’s -fleshy-organic-incubator-chamber..

–Aleister D D Gilgrim

$166.80

I realize it isn’t really that much money.  And, you know, 6.95 a month is certainly doable for me, at this point.

But when that’s the “monthly” rate only because it’s what the flat rate works out to when divided by 24, well, that isn’t really “6.95 per month” it’s 166.80 for two years.

Now don’t get me wrong.  That’s a serious amount of hosting for a pretty good price…I just don’t have 160 bones…at least not for bills that aren’t totally necessary…and cable, you gotta have cable.